For today’s challenge I spent part of the day listening to Taylor’s playlist for human design from the links on the challenge instructions. When I made it to the part of the video that had journal prompts I decided to finish the video and make that videos homework my challenge homework for today.
MANIFESTORS:
What anger are you holding on to around money?
I don’t feel anger towards money that I can think of. I do feel betrayal and abandonment in the past when I really needed money. To pay bills, to take my family out. My first question was do I have the gas money? Then do I have enough for food, do I have enough to actually do anything at all because I have 4 kids so that’s cost times six. What can I do free? Also my family lives in California and Wisconsin so that 22 plus hours with stops and I can’t afford a hotel on the way. I have to stay with family when we get there with six people. We’ll never mind because first I have to have the time in vacation hours and then I have to still pay bills while I’m gone. Add to that the cost of the trip and my family deserves better than pb& j or bologna sandwiches. So I guess there’s anger for the past and a little fear because I don’t know what it looks like to rely on my business for being the only thing bringing money in.
In what ways do you feel like money limits you?
Currently just it limits me in two cars that run but are riddled with cosmetic issues that come with older cars. I’m also limited to my current apartment and can’t yet live where I want to. This is temporary though as I am fully responsible for the money I bring in but the plus side is I set my own limits.
What about money makes you feel completely powerless?
I don’t necessarily feel powerless in the money department other than maybe lacking the power of freedom and lacking the power of resources to do what I want and to really help others financially on a scale that really matters. The only real lack of power I feel is in the knowing how it works to bring in money because I don’t know.
All these things said though I try to be excited in the not knowing because in the knowing I create limitations and spirit can bring so much more when I don’t control it. So I know better and most of the time I know I am going to be so much better than okay. It’s just the occasional fear that pops in but that’s so much more progress than just a couple months ago.
