I really want to work on the illusions of my story around manifesting so I can release them. My current story after working on my manifestation issues the last few months and digging into two blocks I didn’t know I had because I felt okay with manifesting and decided since I didn’t have the manifestation I wanted it must be blocks.
Block #1
I felt on a deep level that I wasn’t enough or worthy. I realized that even though I loved myself I loved myself it was on a friend level and only the good parts. I didn’t love myself on the kind of level that I love my own children. I did some inner child work where I went inside and visited several versions of my inner child accepting us, healing us, and giving us love.
Block #2
I felt abandoned so I became the strength I needed and did my best to only rely on myself. I loved others but didn’t depend on them except in emergencies. I thought I healed this since I had been working on allowing others in and asking for help for a bit now. I realized that I felt abandoned at no one’s fault but actually because of separate lives. Being with my dad, and one family in California, from somewhere around 1 year old to later living with my mom, and my second family in Wisconsin, from somewhere around 7 years old to my mom and step dad splitting when I was almost 17 years old and moving to Oklahoma. Then getting moving in with my fiancé, my mom moving back to Wisconsin, and getting married the summer before my senior year in high school. Somehow all these changes and leaving each life for the next gave me abandonment issues?
I focused on the thought that I was always there, and all my families were always there. I also realized that God, my spirit family/guides, and my higher self were always there.
What’s left in my story that’s an illusions to be let go of. It’s that I’m simply not ready: Not ready to run a successful life coaching business, not ready to handle my abundance on a large scale, not ready to be accountable for the level of help I want to provide to others, not ready for the change and service I can provide on a global scale.
The truth I’m ready as long as I stay out of my own way. I have been preparing for this my whole life. My higher self is capable and ready for this. I will only get better as I learn to let go of my ego and tune in to my higher self.
I feel that the source of my perceived blocks are in the not being ready right here right now. Releasing the illusion of not being ready along with the confidence that if I stay out of my own way and simply connect, allow what feels right, be willing to do what feels right, and be willing to learn/follow is all I need.
I release my illusions so now all that’s left is…
I am.
